Posts tagged st. louis
So you think you can date?

Recently I agreed to meet a woman from a dating web site for coffee. We agreed that on a Sunday afternoon we’d meet up somewhere in the city. The coffee never happened. Clumsiness and shallowness prevailed.

I decided to go out drinking the night before with a friend I hadn’t seen in months. We ended up at a local bar that hosts an occasional 80s Dance Night party populated by people too young to have experience the cocaine and shitty Reagan economy of that dark decade.

The drinks flowed.

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Barack Obama: Subway of Disaster

As a budding journalist and intern at a Peoria, Ill. newspaper, I often spent my down time scouring emails and Web sites of government agencies looking for interesting stories to cover.

I came across a bill in late 2003 signed by then governor and future federal corrections inmate number 40892-424 Rod Blagojevich. The recently signed bill required all police agencies in Illinois to record the race of every driver stopped by a police officer. The bill angered police chiefs and police union officials statewide because it meant a lot more paperwork for officers and deputies.

The purpose of the bill was to create enough data to study whether police around the state were practicing profiling.

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A Man Needs A Man-Sized Meal

Dear Angry Man At Taco Bell,

We both find ourselves here under very depressing circumstances. I have clearly diminished my finances to a degree that 79-cent tacos are a considerable boon. Clearly you have never heard of condoms. This is evidenced by the fact that you are feeding your herd of four shirtless children somewhere that will considerably increase their chances of early onset diabetes.

Mother isn’t here, and judging by that mustache I can assume that either you beat her until she moved away or that she is working the afternoon weekday shift at the Larry Flint dance parlor across the bridge.

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